The Career Transition Blueprint for Mid-Career Women

Episode Transcript

Kelly Callahan-Poe: If you want to learn how to stop spinning your wheels and start designing your career with intention, this episode is for you. Welcome to the Two Marketing Moms podcast. I’m Kelly Callahan-Poe and today’s episode is called the Career Transition Blueprint for Mid-Career Women with Dr. Bentzen-Mercer.

Cynthia is a USA Today bestselling author, executive coach, and strategist with 30 years of experience. She helps leaders and mid-career women intentionally design their futures through transformative frameworks, including her book, Now Near Next, a practical guide for Mid-Career Women to Move from Professional Serendipity to Intentional Advancement. Welcome, Cynthia.

Dr. Cynthia: Thank you so much, Kelly. It’s so good to be here.

Kelly: Well, thanks for joining me. I’ve had an opportunity to read your book, and I’ve got lots of questions. So, the first one is, what made you realize that mid-career women needed a framework to be more intentional with their career planning?

Dr. Cynthia: Yeah, that’s an important question. You know, it’s interesting. I actually had the idea of writing a book to help women, professional women, 25 years ago. And at that point, my thinking was, gosh, I wish somebody had told me all the mistakes in advance, right? All the things that I could make in the way of mistakes, as well as how different the rules were for women versus men. But fast forward 25 years later.

It really started with research. I had a perspective around my own career journey and my thought partner, Kimberly Rath, had a perspective, but we thought, you know, we’re two people. And so, we researched women literally around the globe. And what we found is this commonality, this thread that ran through regardless of gender, race, excuse me did have everything to do with being a woman, so gender, race, ethnicity, age, country.

Among all of these successful women, found the one commonality, this universal trait, was they lacked intentionality. And it was at that moment that I came to, we both kind of came to the epiphany of we liken our success to all these other things because we’ve been so busy. We haven’t been intentional. What if we were more intentional? What could that, what would a world look like in that case? And so it really came out of research.

Kelly: And the rationale for women not necessarily being intentional is really because we’re balancing life and kids and home, right? Is that the main reason?

Dr. Cynthia: Absolutely. As we dug underneath that, so here was the thing we figured out. Women weren’t intentional, and because they weren’t intentional, they grew restless. So, this sort of relational, not necessarily cause and effect, but definitely a relational correlation that because they didn’t invest in their careers, they put their head down, they worked hard, and they wait to get tapped, which is how many of us were formed you know, Kelly, just put your head down, work hard, your good work will get noticed, it’ll speak for itself. And to your point, what we do, especially if we are raising families, taking care of aging parents, pouring into our community, you know, we find someone to pour into, whether we have children or not. The reality is that that’s a convenient option. If you say to me, look, just put your head down, work really hard, when it’s your turn, you’ll get tapped. I’m like, okay, that’s, that frees me up to think about everything else I’m thinking about, right? All the other plates that I’m spinning. Because we know statistically women still today carry the lion’s share of the work at home, the caregiving, the health care. And I would argue for the man who may be listening, that is not an indictment of men. It’s most often because we choose to. It’s...

We want to be able to do both, have a career, have a profession, and do the other nurturing kinds of things. But because of that, yes. All the way around, we’re not intentional because we’ve been conditioned not to be. And it’s a really convenient option when we’re doing everything else.

Kelly: You liken mid-career life to a merry-go-round, which is kind of funny because I like to call it the jungle gym. So, we both love our playground metaphors. So, what do you mean by merry-go-round?

Dr. Cynthia: That’s right. Yes.

Yeah. I want to first define mid-career. Because here’s what we learned after the book was out.

The book was already out. We were on a book tour, and it came to our attention that there was a misconception about what some people thought we meant by mid-career and what we actually meant. So, when we say mid-career, here’s what it isn’t. It isn’t midlife. So, it doesn’t, it isn’t for women in their forties and fifties only. And it isn’t mid-level. So, it’s not status oriented. Like it’s for director level women.

It really is that almost 30 years plus time span of your career where you’re just past that sort of emerging leader. You’ve got your feet under you. You’re probably six, seven years into your career all the way to when you’re ready to go into your encore. For many of us, that’s a really, really long time. And so, when you take that and you attach it then to this notion of, we get restless, well, yeah, because mentally, all of us are spending three decades with our head down working hard, right, waiting to get tapped. And that’s where the merry-go-round comes in. Because I think of it this way, I think for a lot of women, we get that hunger part where we’re, you know, trying to do the grind and then we maybe have a significant other or we maybe decide to have children or whatever, life gets more complex wherever we are. And we sort of take a seat, you know, on the blue pony and we put our head down and we’re going round and round and round. And at some point, in the next 30 years, for many of us, myself, multiple times, we kind of look up and all the other riders on the horses have changed and the zebras and all the things. And we’re still attached to the same darn blue horse, the same blue pony. The guys bless their hearts, and we need to steal a page out of their playbook, they’ve gotten off the merry-go-round, they’re, you know, on the other side of the park. They’re roller coasters over there. And then we get stuck in this limited income, our investments aren’t what they otherwise would have been had we been going through progression, right? And so, it adds to this pay inequity that we see because we’re not necessarily keeping pace with those who are looking up and looking forward.

Kelly: And I think of it as a jungle gym because I feel like sometimes you take a step up. Sometimes you have to take a step sideways to get around another kid. Sometimes you fall off and you have to start over again. So whatever analogy there is, it’s all a challenge, right?

Dr. Cynthia: Yes, yes.

Dr. Cynthia: They’re complimentary though, right, Kelly? Because here’s the thing. If you get on the merry-go-round and you never get off, you never have the ability to be in the jungle gym. I want you to get off the merry-go-round and go get on the jungle gym.

I just want you to get on the jungle gym, right? Because then you have a choice. Then you’re stepping up, you’re right. Sometimes you’re taking a lateral move. Sometimes you’re swinging over to something entirely different. But at least you are head up looking forward, having agency and making choices. And then you can decide where you go from there. Yeah.

Kelly: I see what you mean. Well, let’s dig into now, near, next because your framework has three components. Can you walk us through the three components and explain what each of them represent?

Dr. Cynthia: Yeah, absolutely. So, the biggest thing is this, the through line of the book. If the person listening hears nothing else, here’s the through line. Start working on your future today. That’s the through line.

Not tomorrow, not when the kids go off to kindergarten, not when they graduate college, not when your significant other gets their perfect job. Start working on your future today. And so, the framework basically says, do your day job with excellence, whatever that is, assuming you’re employed. Do your day job with excellence but figure out what is your next. What is my aspiration? And here’s the thing.

It doesn’t necessarily mean a promotion. That’s not the only option. I was coaching a woman today. She just got promoted. Her aspirational next is to fully fulfill all of the capabilities of that new director level role. That’s her next. It could be a lateral move. It could be a certification. It could be finishing a degree. It could be served on a board. You choose. But you choose something that is your aspirational next. The second thing you choose is a date certain by when you want to reach that.

Here’s the other good news. You’re in control of your destiny. Again, with the woman today, she said, I don’t know. And I said, well, do you think it’ll take you a year, 18 months, two years? Pick a timeline. You can always adjust it, right? So, you pick a certain date. So, let’s use a year just for simple math. Let’s say that our aspiration is to get a certification. And we think it’s going to take us a year. The framework is where you start now between now and near is two thirds of the time frame. So, in our little easy math here, I’m going to spend nine months of that year chipping away at working toward that aspirational goal while I’m doing my day job with excellence. So maybe I’m doing a little thing in the morning before work. I could be using my lunch hours if such a thing exists. I could be working in the evening, weekends, what have you. But I’m chipping away at it in a way that works with whatever my current life dynamics are. Some of us have more time than others, right? I can hear the woman listening going, yeah, nice, nice, Cynthia. I have zero time to do that, right? Seven minutes a day, if that’s all you can, if you can muster that more than five less than ten. So, between now and near, you’re going to spend nine months at your pace, chipping toward that goal. And in the last third from near to next, you hit the accelerator. That’s when you’re really starting to, you know, move things along. So, if somebody’s looking for a new job, wants to get a promotion, is disgruntled with their current job, is thinking, I really need to start looking. By what date certain do you want to be in that new position? And what are the ways in which you’re going to get there? So, it really puts a plan in, and that’s where the blueprint comes in, is identifying that and putting pen to paper.

Kelly: You know, that was actually the most valuable thing because you have so many resources on your website and you have the Now Near Next blueprint and there’s many exercises that are worth doing in terms of now, what is your vision, what is your values, what is your mission, your talents, et cetera. But that calendar to me was the most interesting thing so that I could sit there and write down my plan, which I’m now going to use for planning for 2026. And I love the idea of, now is the next nine months and near is the three months after that. And next is what is your next big goal, right? So, I think that’s really, really helpful. The other thing that you offer on your website is a career audit that audits your —

Dr. Cynthia: I love it. Yeah, yeah, and that’s the transition point.

Kelly: You also have a career readiness audit to actualize your potential, which I thought was really interesting. And I took the audit and my score was 77 out of 100, which was a big aha moment for me. But what it showed me was that I need to spend more time developing a targeted plan for my future. I am working today. I am working on it now. I might even be working on near. I’m not working on next.

So, what are the key things we need to consider when we’re working on our own now near next blueprints?

Dr. Cynthia: Yeah, first of all, you are literally the most prepared host I’ve ever, any podcast I’ve ever guested on, which I absolutely love. So huge compliments to you. It’s amazing. Yeah, I mean, here’s the validation point. You’re ahead of most, first of all, with your score. You’re ahead of most. And number two, absolutely. Because what we found in our research, and again, we researched quantitatively and qualitatively, women around the world, is that most of us aren’t intentional and a vast majority don’t even have an idea of what their next is going to be, believe it or not, right? They’re sort of leaving their agency in the hands of their boss, their company. It’s like, they’ll know what’s best for me when the time is right, you know, I’ll be tapped and that’s great until they’re restless or stuck or laid off or go through a divorce or a relocation, right? We often wait for life to happen to us before we have those cred moments and we have to get planning. So, one of the things that I love about what you said, and I want to really emphasize for the person listening, is that this absolutely resonates with somebody who is out of work, disgruntled, stuck, or stagnant, right? This is music to their ears. They hear this. It all makes sense. The person that needs it as much if not more, is the person that is happy, loves their boss, loves their job, loves everything, and has this naive, I would argue, idea that it’s all just going to remain in place. Because those are the individuals that are leaving their agency to somebody else, number one, and aren’t planning ahead. They’re working on it now because things are going well. So, I say to people, even when you start that new thing, get that new job, get that permission to start your own business. Pick a new one!

You should always have a next. Always be picking a new next so that you’re planning ahead. That’s the biggest thing. Start working on your future today. Don’t live just in this moment. So, for you, I mean, you picked up on it. It was, I’m doing the things that need to be done now. I love it. It feels as though you’re in a really good place. But what’s next for you?

Right? What’s next for you? And for the woman or man who’s listening that maybe is anticipating their what I call encore, right? Rather than retirement. Sometimes that’s when we fall off a cliff. Sometimes that’s when we’re just like, well, we’re going to retire. We’re going to spend time with grandkids. We’re going to travel. We’re going to do whatever. You don’t go from being a busy female executive doing all the things to hard stop retirement and not feel like something’s missing. So, you plan for that too. That’s your next, but what are you gonna do to plan for that?

Kelly: Agreed.

One of the other resources that you offered on your website was something called the Talent Spotlight that it covers your strongest talents listed in ranked order based on your responses to the survey. I took it. I think I even sent you my results. How do you use this data with your clients?

Dr. Cynthia: Yes, I love it.

So, there’s two things that come up immediately when I talk to women about the Now Near Next framework. The very first thing that they talk about is I don’t have time. So, we can cover that perhaps as another question. So, we address time. The second thing is oftentimes they’ll say, I don’t know what my next should be or they’ve only thought of it in a very linear way. I’m a supervisor, then I’m a manager, then I’m a director, right? If they’re in that corporate space. It’s just very narrow. But a lot of them are like, I love what I’m doing now. I don’t even know.

What the Talent Spotlight does, and so Kimberly Rath, my co-author and thought partner, has a behavioral science business that studies the science of behavior. And the Talent Spotlight is a validated predictive instrument. So, you have to be careful when you start dealing in these kinds of things, because there’s a lot of interesting stuff out there. But if you’re going to use it to really guide your career and those kinds of things, you want it to be highly predictive. The instrument that you went through and that is what is talked about in our book, helps to look at your managerial, sort of the leadership competencies that are most intense for you. And it cuts it off at five, you only get the five, you might have strength in 10 out of 10, nine out of 10, et cetera. I say we all have aces in spaces. But here’s the thing, when I’m coaching women or when I’m talking to really anyone, gender agnostic, what I want the world to be a part of is I want every single human being to be able to monetize their talent. And what do I mean by that? I want everyone to skip work every day because it doesn’t feel like work, because it’s so much fun. And a quick way to assess if it’s a talent, and your top five should feel this way to you. So, we’ll do a quick check.

I use the acronym ACES so it’s easy to remember. We all have ACES and we have spaces, right? So, when you’re doing things that are playing in an area of natural talent, that which can’t be taught, it’s part of your wiring, your DNA, it’s affirming. It’s fun.

So, when I guest on a podcast or I host my own podcast, that’s enjoyable. It’s fun for me, right? So, it’s affirming. The second thing is it’s consistent. I’m not sometimes this way. I’m always a certain way. So, when it’s consistent, I’m either always organized or I’m always charismatic or I’m always influential or I’m always strategic. It’s not like I’m sometimes strategic or I’m sometimes a people person when it’s a talent. It’s consistent. You do it with excellence. People come to you because they’re like you’re really good at problem solving, you’re really good at finding the missing part, you’re really good at creativity, whatever that is. You’re really naturally gifted. And lastly, it’s spontaneous. You can’t help yourself. I always use this example, right? It’s the person that walks into a busy airport and people are everywhere in lines, they’re everywhere in its chaos. And it’s that person that walks in and goes, if they put a stanchion there and added one more person over there, this whole thing would be so much more fluid.

That is spontaneous, right? They didn’t think about it. It just comes to you. That’s a natural talent, especially if it feels good when you solve that problem. So, what the Talent Spotlight does is it takes that sort of ACES framework that you can do on your own without spending $18, or you can get the validated instrument that gives you that. And then when I’m working with clients, I say, let’s mind map the things that you do that you love that you’re naturally good at and let’s find the position, the job, the opportunity that lines up to that because we could learn the skill of knowledge. Lean into what brings you joy. Here’s the benefit for the leader that’s listening when you have people all lined up that are playing to their natural gifts and talents.

It is a huge competitive advantage, right? They make your customers happy. They make your coworkers happy. They’re far more engaged. And you are investing so much more time and energy in quote unquote work because it feels more like a passion project.

Kelly: So, it’s really taking those things that energize you the most and that’s where you need to focus on your next.

Dr. Cynthia: Yeah, because here’s what happens. I use this quote a lot, which is from us, which is, you know, like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can get lured in by the beauty, but when they don’t fit, it’s really painful. We do that with careers and jobs, right? We go, that title is so sexy. But I’m going to make X more dollars. The status of that position.

Oftentimes we’re chasing the allure of something that may not be a great fit to our talent. Not everybody loves managing people. And that’s OK. The best bedside nurse in the world may not be the best nurse manager, the best salesperson in the world may not be the best sales manager. It doesn’t mean they can’t be or won’t be. As an example, we sometimes think that that progression is an expectation of how we grow. To your jungle gym analogy, there’s so many other ways to learn and grow.

Kelly: I love that. Well, are there any other tips on career planning for mid-career women that you want to share with us?

Dr. Cynthia: The one thing I would say is this, I wanna harken back to having alluded to time because I feel like we’d be remiss if we didn’t address that because the person listening may be saying to themselves, this sounds amazing. I love everything that Kelly and Cynthia are talking about, but I have three children under the age of five and, and, and right? The bottom line is this, it starts with boundaries and unapologetic guilt-free investment in you. And so very quickly, I’ll give you a very quick framework around boundaries. The very first thing women often do is we put everything into the bucket that we believe it’s the most important thing in the world.

And so, the first thing we have to do is kind of go through this bucket of stuff and reorganize it. The second mistake we make is the things we take out are the things that fulfill us the most.

So, we put everything in the bucket and then when we have to prioritize, we go, okay, well, I guess I won’t go to yoga. Okay, well, I guess I won’t, you know, watch that podcast or whatever it is. We take those things out. And what I argue is that is not the first place to remove items from all of this. In fact, if it has value to you, it’s part of your path. It fills your cup.

Do those things. For me, it was making my kids lunches every day from kindergarten through senior year. And I would have friends say, you know, your kids are in middle school and high school. Pretty sure they can make their own lunch, Cynthia. You’re a busy executive. You travel, et cetera. I’m like, I enjoy it. I like doing that. It’s my mommy moment. Don’t give those things up but outsource what you can. You know, be a good delegator at home. Take help from people that offer it.

That is not a sign of weakness. That is a sign of leadership. You know, as leaders we have to be able to delegate. We have to be able to lean into those who can help and support us. That’s a sign of leadership, not weakness. But then here’s the toughest part of the delegation piece, and that is once you hand it off, once you outsource it, you have to be good with how it turns out. You can’t restack the dishwasher.

Because your husband or partner or 12-year-old didn’t do it like you wanted it, right? You have to just be good with it. And then finally, no is a complete sentence. Sometimes it’s just the right thing to say no and don’t qualify it. No, not right now leaving that door open.

It’s just, you know what, I’m flattered you asked. I just don’t have the bandwidth. Period. However you can get to no, no is a complete sentence.

Kelly: I respect that message, my goodness. Well, thank you for sharing your insights today, Cynthia. You can find Cynthia’s contact information and links to her books and her resources on twomarketingmoms.com. Don’t forget to subscribe and share. Thanks for joining.