Own Your Value

Episode Transcript

Kelly Callahan-Poe: If you want to learn what it takes to own your value at work, this episode is for you. Welcome to the Two Marketing Mom's podcast. I'm Kelly Callahan-Poe and today's episode is called Own Your Value with Sheila Cosgrove. Sheila is a career and leadership coach who helps ambitious women rise without burning out. With years of corporate experience, she knows what it takes to lead with confidence, advocate for yourself and get the recognition you deserve. Welcome, Sheila.

Sheila Cosgrove: Thank you. It's great to be here.

Kelly: Sheila, many women struggle to clearly articulate their value at work. What's the first step to gain clarity?

Sheila: Most of the time it's knowing how to articulate your successes and knowing what your successes at work have been. We always kind of forget, you know, what the big accomplishments once they're over and we never kind of bring them forward to show what actually our value is and the value that we bring to the organization or that we bring to the company. So it can be everything from, everything or anything from, you know, the team that you've led and the successes that they've had, as well as maybe you've created a new process that has saved money for the company, or maybe you've invented a new product that, or contributed to the invention of a new product that got new customers to the company as well. So, make sure that you are really taking stock and taking inventory of your successes and bringing those to everything that you do because that not only communicates your value, but it also gives you confidence.

Kelly: So, do you recommend to your coaching clients that each professional comes up with two or three different elements in terms of what their successes are and kind of create a story around that that's shortened to the point and memorable?

Sheila: Yes, that's really, really important. That's something that I do with all of my clients and it can be a number of different things, beyond what's just most recent or a few things. We usually bring in, we go back in time a little bit and bring forward many, many successes that they can talk about and they can pull from when they need it.

Kelly: That's hard to do. Yeah. And to remind yourself. So, you have a framework for career acceleration. Can you take me through the steps of this framework, and then can we chat about each one?

Sheila: It is, it takes practice. It takes practice. Yes, most definitely. Of course. So, the framework is called the Career Success Accelerator Method. And it has four main steps that really have been at the forefront for all of the time that I've been working with my clients. And this is what it boils down to. First of all, they need to have a strategy. So, they need to know where they want to go next or what kind of pivot they want to make in order for us to put together the plan for them to get there. It sounds really simple, but it's actually much more difficult to do, particularly on your own, when you are thinking about how to get to the next level. How am I going to get the promotion? How am I going to make a change or pivot into this type of organization? So, we really get really clear on what it is they want next.

Kelly: So that might be a new title, it might be gaining expertise, and then you talk people through what are the things that you need to do and who are the people that are going to help you get there.

Sheila: Absolutely. And what skills do you have now? And what do you have in your arsenal that you can, you know, bring to bear in a new role? And what do you need to learn? What are some experiences that you might want to go through so that you can be even more ready for that next step, whatever it may be? But most of the women I work with, it's amazing. They have way more than they think. Particularly when they want to make a change, it's kind of terrifying, but through our work together, they come to realize that you know what, I have a lot to offer and it's not really that much of a stretch for me to go from here to there. But if you don't have the strategy, then you don't know how to get there.

Kelly: Your next step is visibility. I guess I want to dig a bit deeper in this one because what does visibility really mean? It's not necessarily speaking out in a meeting or being the loudest voice or becoming an extrovert. Can you tell us a little bit about what your approach to visibility is?

Sheila: Absolutely. It's very important for people to know who you are, and people throw around personal brands, a lot of professional brands and it is that absolutely, but it's also what are their interactions with you like? So, what can they count on you for? What do you or how connected are you within the organization? So, it's important for you to be known for and also be visible to the people that are making the decisions or the people who have influence that will help you to kind of step up in your career. But you can also be called upon to contribute and bring your strengths when they're needed. So, if people don't know who you are, you're not visible within the organization. It's really hard for them to know that you can be a resource, that you can be a valuable resource.

Kelly: When we chatted earlier, you talked about things that people misunderstand about visibility. Can you talk about that a bit?

Sheila: A lot of people think that it's really self-serving and it actually, clearly it does help you. It's an advantage in the workplace. If no one knows who you are, if you're not networked, if you are in your office or at your desk all the time and you don't get out there and interact with other people, then it makes it much more difficult to move forward. A lot of people think that being very intentional and thoughtful about visibility makes you, it's like a little dishonest or it feels a little icky for, you know, for lack of a better word. And that's actually, it's actually not the case if you're doing it in a really authentic way and you are really, you know, both confident in what you're saying and what you're doing. But also, if you're bringing your true self of being authentic in the workplace and in how you interact with people, it's just natural. It's not anything that's self-serving necessarily. It's important and that's the world that we live in, but it doesn't have to be inauthentic, and it doesn't also have to be for your benefit. So, as you network with other people and you put your network together, it's not just what they can do for you, it's also what you can do for them. So that's a very, very important part of networking and visibility.

Kelly: That reminds me of managing by wandering around (MBWA).

Sheila: Yes, absolutely. That is so important. You have to be seen. And it makes a huge difference, particularly when you're a leader and really being out there and not shying away from conversations and being able to speak one-on-one with your team at any time. And just them knowing that you're there to support them, so important.

Kelly: So, the next step you have is influence. And that is a challenging one because building influence takes time, it takes effort, and perhaps it could end up in burnout because you're constantly trying to be there during work hours and outside of work. So, can you talk about how you can build influence without burning out and working 24 seven?

Sheila: Influence is really about basically two main things. One is negotiation and the other is handling really critical conversations. So being able to speak to, know, talk to a colleague and work through the things that you need to be able to influence decisions that are happening around the company, it really comes down to those skills that you have to do that. And really, its communication is key. So, a lot of women I work with are good. They're good at that. But as you move higher into an organization, you have to be able to have more influence and be able to negotiate for what you want or what your team needs or what you'd like to see next in terms of a product that you'd like to be able to promote for the company. And also having tough conversations, whether it's about performance or whether it's about what you are getting or not getting at work or maybe a difficult colleague that you are working with that's really kind of just suppressing innovation or ways to move forward. So, it's a lot about communication and being able to effectively navigate those tough conversations.

Kelly: And the last one is the most challenging one, the one that may or may not exist, which is balance. But you have some good strategies that are more about having women kind of balance their work week that I think are very easy and accessible. Can you talk about those?

Sheila: Absolutely. Yes, and of course balance isn't doing it all. There's no one who can do it all. It's about wherever you are in the moment, to be intentional, right? Where you are. So, if you are at work, be at work, right? Be present at work 100%. If you're with your family or with your friends, be there, be present, right? That if you are constantly not being really mindful about what you're doing and where you're going and the people that you're interacting with, it doesn't feel like balance for sure. And it's not balanced. And I try to also use the word harmony because it just kind of communicates that it's just in line, it just flows and it, know, harmony is just the state that you want to be in when you're talking about, particularly between your professional and personal life. But there are a number of different ways that the women that I work with can do that. And we work on these strategies a lot. One is they really need to set clear work hours, right? I've been there and a lot of people have been there. If there's a crisis or there's an emergency and you need to be working late into the night or getting up early or working overnight, that does happen. So, I'm not saying don't be flexible, but for the most part, have set work hours and communicate that to people. This is when I'm online, this is when I'm available. And it's really important that people know that. And also encourage your team to do that same thing as well, because it's a really important skill that not a lot of people are very good at, understandably, because they want to be there for everything. They want to do everything; they want to be involved in everything. So that's definitely one way. Again, be honest about when you're available and also tell people the why. So, if you're not available in the evenings, right? Potentially someone expects you to be, hopefully not the company, I hope it's not a culture of where you're expected to be online 24 seven, tell people why, why you're not going to be available during that time. It could be, I need to go to my daughter's volleyball game, and I want to be able to be there for her. I want to support her. She's going to college soon and it's important to me to have that time with her. Or, you know, I take care of my dad, you know, during certain times of the year, you know, kind of switch off between siblings. So, I need to be able to do that. That's really valuable, you know, for me, and it's important to me as an individual. So that's why I can't do X or I can't be available for X, or I need to leave at X time every Friday, you know, whatever the case may be. I think when you tell people your why that makes a big difference in being able to hold those boundaries and to have that balance for sure. Also, something that's really important to not burn out is to understand priorities. And you may have probably seen the Eisenhower matrix where it says important, non-important, urgent, not urgent.

Kelly: I have a visual.

Sheila: That's great. Perfect. We did not plan that. That's pretty good. So, if you can get really good at that and it takes practice, that's something that will really help you prevent burnout because you're not running around trying to solve every crisis for everyone all the time. So that's really, really important to avoiding burnout for sure. And the last big thing is when you take on something, you need to let go of something else. I know I am, and it's so hard to do sometimes, but you have to be honest and realistic with the person who's maybe asking you to do that thing. I'd love to do that, but I've got these three things that I have to get done before next Friday. So is there something that you'd like me to deprioritize so that I can take that on?

Kelly: This is my favorite one.

Sheila: In case you're talking to your manager or your boss or whomever your leader, is there something you'd like me to deprioritize so that I can take that on? Or that's a great idea, but I really am focused on this right now, so I don't have that additional time to take on that responsibility. Check in with me in two weeks, check in with me in three weeks, right? So don't necessarily close the door to, you know, helping, because there could be some great things that you want to be involved in, but you just have to be honest that you cannot do it all and kind of leave the door open to take a look at that again in a short period of time. So, there are a lot of different strategies that I work through with my clients on how to articulate that, because we know we need to do it, but we don't know how to do it.

Kelly: So, a big part of balance is setting boundaries. What are other ways that women can set boundaries at work without being viewed as difficult?

Sheila: Right? It goes back to the why and people understanding that there's a reason that you're trying to protect your energy. There's a reason that you are trying to stay balanced at work. And it's important for people to know that, and for themselves as well, you can't bring your best self to everything if you are burned out all the time. You cannot be an effective leader if you're always running on empty. It's impossible, it's absolutely impossible having that balance, avoiding that burnout is really a lot about setting the expectations and really sticking to them. And again, it's about how you articulate that and how you communicate that too. And again, it takes practice to be able to say no to things or be able to work in such a way that you can be a hundred percent when you're there. So those are some of the things that I would say can help women avoid that.

Kelly: A lot of that's also modeling what is the right behavior for the next generation in terms of, it's okay for you to have these boundaries. It's okay for you to have a schedule. It's okay for you to have a life outside of the office. And I think if your boss doesn't have those boundaries, it doesn't give you a very good model to follow.

Sheila: It's okay for you to have it. Right. If you're satisfied with it, if you're not satisfied with its okay to have it. It doesn't, unfortunately. So, and that's when you have to make some decisions or potentially try to know in advance what you're stepping into when you're stepping into it. If you are, you know going for promotion or stepping into a new department. And that leader is known for always being in the office and always being online, whatever the case may be. It's important to know, one, is that an environment you want to work in? And two, can you speak to that person or articulate it before you start working for them? That I work differently. I'm very dedicated and I get things done, but I do it a little bit differently. And is that going to be okay? Because if it's not, it's not a good situation for you and it's not a good situation for them. Frustration, know, those types of things will, it will ultimately lead to that. And it's also important to set that example for the people who work for you. And if you want to really get the most out of your team and you want them to be fulfilled and you want them to have a positive experience and feel like they're contributing to something, they need to have balance too. You can't expect people again to do their best work if they are burned out or they absolutely have no balance at all.

Kelly: I'm curious, out of all of the clients that you work with, what is the number one challenge that you see in terms of women who come to you who are having challenges with owning their value at work? What is the number one thing? Is there one thing or is there multiple things?

Sheila: Many of them, again, it goes back to feeling like it's inauthentic. So, I've worked with a lot of women where we've had the conversation, and we go deep into what do you bring to the table? What do people say about you? What's the wow factor that you bring to your company every day? And they're reluctant to say it or to name it or to bring it together into a coherent way that they can describe themselves. It's really a reluctance to say, I'm awesome. And here's why. It's not something that comes natural to us, right? As women, definitely not. Research shows that it absolutely does not come naturally to us. And then another challenge of course is they do want to say yes to everything.

Kelly: Yeah.

Sheila: And they want to be able to contribute everywhere that somebody needs them. And in order for them to be really great at a lot of things and not everything that takes focus, that takes being open to, again, saying no to some of those opportunities because you can't do it all. So, it's really learning to say no to some things that you know are not going to serve you professionally.

Kelly: Are there any other recommendations that you would like to put forth in terms of helping women own their value at work?

Sheila: I think it's just don't be afraid to talk about yourself in that way and practice. Practice saying it. Practice different situations, whether you're in the elevator with a senior leader or you're having lunch or coffee with a potential next leader that you'll work for. Get comfortable with saying it, practice it over and over, and it will become very natural, and it will be very authentic if you just take the time to really practice it. And always be taking stock. So, every time that you have a big win or you contribute in a way that you feel proud of, write it down. I used to keep a good feedback folder. So whenever I, know, someone said great job or you really made a difference or that, you know, they kind of explain what the impact was, I just kind of put it over into that folder so that I can come back to that and say, these are the things that I'm good at and people see that. So, I should be talking about it. If no one knows what you do or who you are, you can't move on or move up into other things.

Kelly: Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for joining me, Sheila. I will provide your contact information at twomarketingmoms.com and don't forget to subscribe and share. Thanks for joining.

Sheila: Thank you.