How to be a Super Connector

Episode Transcript

Kelly Callahan-Poe: Ready to level up your influence, visibility, and impact? It all starts with who and how you connect. Welcome to the Two Marketing Mom's podcast. I'm Kelly Callahan-Poe and today's episode is called How to be a Super Connector with Lirone Glikman. Lirone is a global business relationship expert, keynote speaker, and bestselling author of the Super Connector's playbook, How to Achieve Your Goals Through Authentic Business Relationships. As founder of The Human Factor, she's helped Fortune 500 companies, governments, and startups across 26 countries build authentic connections with impact. Welcome, Lirone.

Lirone Glikman: Hi Kelly, good morning, it's so good to see you again. Thank you for having me.

Kelly: Thanks for joining me from Tel Aviv. I appreciate it. So, let's talk about your book, the Super Connectors Playbook. You have something that you've outlined called the human factor method. Can you tell us about it?

Lirone: Yeah, sure. So, if you don't mind, I'll just show it here, the Super Connectors Playbook. And people ask me; how long did it take me to write books? So essentially 12 years of research and learning from amazing people from around the world. And that's also why I called it the human factor method. The method is how to achieve goals through relationships. And I think in our day and age, being human is so very important, don't you think, with all the AI around us? So little did I know back then it just got a different meaning today. So, the idea of the method, the human factor method is essentially that we all communicate with people all the time, but we rarely have classes at school or universities that teach us how to create right or meaningful relationships that could also get others to want to help us and same as we want to help them. How to build a brand and the relationship of the brand to our ability to connect with people and how to enroll them and even enjoy and again have this human experience of connection. And based on my journey, I'll be happy to share more, but in short, traveling around the world, going by myself to Australia, New York, and very quickly I was able to get to the highest corporate or big companies in the countries. Essentially, I developed a six-pillar method and it goes like this. I'm going to run through the pillars and then I'll just explain them briefly. So how to achieve goals through relationship building. The foundation is authenticity and strategy. It only works when it's real, but it's okay to be strategic. And sometimes through, I would say women, we tend to feel uncomfortable asking or feeling like it's fake if we want something from people, but it's okay if we do it the right way. So, these are the foundations. The system goes like this. It's about understanding what your goal is, having a people plan, building a brand, connecting with people authentically and intentionally, maintaining the relationships and leverage for results. So, goals could be finding a job, getting clients or climbing the corporate ladder. Same as we have marketing plans and business plans, why don't we have a people's plan? Knowing the people that we all like mapping the people we already know and aiming for new ones that could potentially help us. Then how, what is my brand? How do I show up authentically and professionally online and face to face? Then how to connect, build a good rapport and build a good connection with and be memorable with around new people that we meet. How to maintain the relationship for the long term and how to enroll people for results.

Kelly: Well, let's break this down just a little bit so I can really understand a couple of the steps in the process. So, it's authenticity first, correct?

Lirone: Yes. These are kind of the foundation. It lays on authenticity and strategy.

Kelly: Yeah, I mean, it's such a challenge, as we talked about with regards to authenticity, because we're using AI in our lives every single day, right? To communicate on a daily basis, we're getting these messages on LinkedIn from sales reps that sound just like they were just written by AI. So, talk a little bit about how you can come across as authentic in your communications when you may only have 10, 15 seconds to make an impression and to connect with somebody else.

Lirone: I love it. So, first of all, there's some things that, you know, no AI can take away from us. It's if it's the look in the eye, the smile and our experience and our stories. And I recently just read a new LinkedIn report on founder led marketing. And they said, you know, try to use your own stories, your own experiences, take some notes from, and every conversation you have with someone could turn into a post. But back to your question about how to be authentic when you meet people. I mean, it's really just, again, being you sharing your story, trying to, I mean, we all probably had our 30 second speech for so many times. And I know sometimes when I share what I do, it sounds like, you okay, I said it again, but try to add your own, again, emotion or connect it with the people you're speaking with. So, if I'm speaking to an investor or to a potential manager that can hire me, how can I emphasize different aspects of myself? So, we need to be agile in the way that we show up and introduce ourselves online and offline, I would say. About authenticity. I think it's such a big word and many times we are, you know, it's hard to come, you know, and be fully authentic. But I think that first of all, authenticity is about sharing the relevant parts of us. Like if I'm a great cook, then I probably won't share it at work because it's not relevant. So, share, mean, my strengths as, you know, as a great decision maker or a connector. But authenticity, as I like to say, it's about approving your words, your thoughts and your actions. So, when you approve for yourself, when I know that the words are congruent with who I am, my thoughts are congruent with who I am, my actions are congruent with who I am and I'm not trying to be someone else, I'm usually aligned and I'm kind of in my center.

Kelly: Well, let's step into the goals. And I think the storytelling aspect of authenticity is something obviously AI does not have. It can't make up stories about you that it doesn't know, obviously. And so that is a very personal thing and something to remember in terms of someone having their own story when they're communicating with you and being able to communicate that quickly and authentically. So, when we talk about goals, let's talk about how do you establish those networking goals?

Lirone: So actually, aligning the people to the goals is kind of the connection between the first and the second pillar. So, first of all, when I talk about goals I understand, what do we want? Maybe I have a very big issue at work, and I need someone who is an expert in, I don't know, coding or AI. Then I would look in my network for someone who I know is an expert in coding and I'll say, hey, maybe you can help me. For example, I have a big talk in Berlin in just a few weeks for financial analysts. Now, I just approached a friend who's come from the financial industry. He also talks on stages. And I want to pick his brain to help me maybe ensure that my talk is as tailored as possible to this audience. So, it could be as small as these types of issues or to find new job clients in my field or in a new city or in a new market. Again, climb with a corporate ladder. And what I also show in the book is the Ikigai. You have probably heard of Ikigai. And I think it's such an amazing framework, which essentially says find what you love doing, what you're good at and what the world is willing to pay for. And this is kind of your sweet spot. So that's also a way to help us find a goal. And then when you know what you want, you can just start thinking who are the people that can help me get there? Again, if I want to find a job in a healthcare company, who, maybe I already have in my network, people who work in healthcare, they just didn't come to my mind at first because our brain basically cannot remember. Some say more than 120 people, some say more than 400 people at a given time. So, we need to kind of think, who in my industry, like we're prompting AI, just prompt your brain. Who in my industry, or in my network is someone from the healthcare industry or which person that I probably met is really good at coding and can help me fix this problem? So, this is how you connect a goal to people that can potentially consult you about it or connect you to the solution.

Kelly: That leads to the people's plan. I love this idea because it's almost like a marketing plan for relationships. Can you talk about how that works as well?

Lirone: So essentially, as I said, we can't remember everyone we met. And we met so many people. And I encourage on the one hand to start seeing the people around us as people who probably would like to help us in the goals that we want to achieve and kind of mapping them towards the industry or the goals that we're looking to achieve. But also think who are the people that I want to meet with? For example, I do it, and I know a lot of people around me do it as well. Every now and again, they just mark people from different industries, and they're just asked to meet with them, just to learn and consult. So how can you increase your network in order to get exposed to new information or new ideas, or again, people that can help you? And you probably heard of the six degrees of separation and they said that between any person in the world to anyone else, there are six people, like a maximum of six cycles. And this research also says that the best cycles in order that could, the rest circles that can help you achieve something that you want would be the third or fourth because they're far enough to be exposed to new people or new opportunities and new information that our first and second circles are probably unaware of. So essentially, if I'm going to a new country, I'm kind of tapping into the third or fourth circle. So, if you're asking a friend of a friend of a friend, or if you're going to network events, or if you, again, engaging even on LinkedIn, you will most likely communicate or connect with people that maybe have some great information for you, just as you have for them. So, this is kind of the mind shift that the People Plan pursues.

Kelly: So, the next one is kind of like maintaining and nourishing relationships and talking a little bit about, now, it's easy to connect with people, but it's also easy to drop the ball. So, what kind of strategies do you recommend to kind of keep those relationships alive and maintain them over time?

Lirone: I think it's very important because it's so hard for us to maintain a relationship and it's very close to people plan because, okay, we know a lot of people, I know I should approach X, Y, Z, and I reached out to them, but then how do I keep the relationship going? It's definitely hard. So, there are a few methods and a few ways I kind of train myself and usually teach. One, which is maybe not so scalable, but I think it's great because it's authentic. It's what I like to call the association kind of method. You know, I just, when I think about people or when I get exposed to new information that I always try to think, if it's information, who might be interested in that? Who can this information give value to? And then I send it to, I don't know, to Shirley and I say, hi, Shirley. I just read this article, I think it will be so relevant for you based on what we just talked about the other week. Or a while ago, I just walked next to a Nike store and my friend just finished her work at Nike and I like, Julie, I just thought about you. So, I wanted to say hi. So, this would probably be more for people that we are kind of, you know, that we have like a casual relationship with or informal like connection with. And on the other part, the more strategic one, it's a method by Michael Port, an American consultant and author. And he called it the 90 list. So, create a list of up to 90 people that are most relevant to you now. You can update the list as you go, but don't make it more than 90. Because our brain, essentially, if you go back to the tribal days, it's called the Dunbar's number, that essentially the tribes used to work on up to 120 people because our brain could remember specifically about 120 people back then. Today, we might be able to remember more because of social media. So, 90 is kind of a digestible number of people. And let's say it could be a CEO of a company, someone that I want as a client, someone that I met at the conference, and I want to, you know, nourish this relationship. And every day, if you have 30 people, then you can make 10 minutes in your calendar to approach someone like them, send them a personal message, search intentionally for an article that you want to send to them. So, kind of try to be on the radar and also give them some value. So, if I have 30 people, by the end of the month, I probably touch base with everyone. And then second month and third month, and maybe in the fourth month, it's, it's, I want to ask them for something. So, I'm not like a stranger. It's not like a cold call. It could also work well with strangers that, if you comment on people's posts, if you like them, they will see you and after a while they will remember you. I always like to divide it into two ways. I call it visibility and care. Visibility is to be out there to like them, to comment on their posts. And care is about sending these, those personal messages that I like, you know that I really thought about you.

Kelly: So, I think I might have missed a step before leveraging and enrolling support.

Lirone: It was a personal branding and connection. So, once we found someone in our network and our people plan and we want to approach them, the first thing they would do is to Google us. Or ChatGPT does. And I definitely encourage our viewers and listeners to Google themselves in an incognito window or search for the name on ChatGPT and see what the results come up. Maybe some of you won't find anything, which is, it's okay. Any type of answer is okay as long as you're aware of that. And by the way, one time I did this exercise for students about Googling their name. And then a guy, thinking his name was Ben said something like, hey, you know, there is a serial killer in the US, in the UK with the same name. Like, okay, well, you can't do nothing about it, but you want to know that when someone's looking for you, this other Ben would probably pop up. So, and with that in mind, it's an, it's, it's also about how we build our brand. Again, what strengths and values we want to emphasize online and in our professional communication. So, this is about the personal brand. And connection is how do you break the ice? Do you have any tips? How do you break the ice? How do you make your specific opening lines with new people?

Kelly: For me, it's always about making a connection. What I love about my podcast is I get an opportunity to meet people all around the world who all have something to say around career growth in some way, or form. And so, it's my job to be curious enough to understand what it is that their point of view is. So, for me, I see myself as pulling out these ideas and thoughts from other people and just being curious enough about what are you about and what is it that you represent and what is the advice that you can give to others who are in the marketing and advertising field. So, for me, it's curiosity and asking those questions because I'm usually trying to impart that advice onto others with my podcast.

Lirone: Yeah, and I love what you said. It actually gets me to this very important notion of extroverted versus introverted. Many people think that extroverts like it's better to be an extrovert because usually extroverts are, they're out there, they take the attention and they really, many times they're entertaining, and people are gathering around them, and you see them. But I think it's great and we need them. And I'm kind of in between, I guess maybe more extroverted than introverted, but the introverted people, they have something which is so unique and such a strong way to connect with other people, which is curiosity and listening. Cause many times, and yes, I'm generalizing, but for the most part, they are looking around, they're kind of assessing the room and checking up on the situation and analyzing the people around them and they would ask questions, would nod their head and find interest in other people. And as Dale Carnegie said, when you are interested in others, you become more interesting. So, they have such great strength. So, if you're going again to networking events or meeting someone at the grocery shop, ask questions and just listen, just really listen to them.

Kelly: And the last step is leveraging and enrolling support. So how do you enroll others in your goals or to activate your network without feeling salesy or pushy?

Lirone: So that's such an important question. And again, many people think that building relationships or networking is fake and it's just about using people. And one of my main goals is to show people that it's just the most human thing we can do. And it's not about being fake. So, if you did everything in your own way, I mean, again, this method is about, this system is about how each person can take it to their own world and character and words. But if you know where you want to go, you've met with the right people, you communicate yourself, your brand in a way that they would appreciate you. You connected with them, you laughed with them, you found common ground with them, you built a good rapport, you showed them that you care because just after you met, you sent them this article, or you suggested connecting them to someone. So, it's about how do you show up? How do you connect with people? How are you able to give them something again from humor to a piece of advice or information? If you did all this right, then you're probably already in a good position with the other person that they might even ask, hey, can I help you? But if they won't ask, there are different ways to do this. First of all, the idea is to ask. I see a lot of people, especially women, that they're really good at building their relationships, nourishing their relationships, but they would not make the ask. So, if you don't, I always say doors that you never knocked on would never open up for you. So, it's asking, but knowing also how to ask. For example, if I'm feeling uncomfortable with someone or again, that we're not that close, then I might say, hey, I have a question for you. Please, I'll accept any answer. If it's yes or no, you know, I respect you. So, I give them a way out. And I think that's a very nice way to give them the opportunity to say whatever they want. And for the most part, people are happy to help. Another way is a sentence that I love using. It says, if you want money, ask for advice. If you want advice, ask for money. Asking people for advice is one of the best ways to enroll them because asking for advice puts you in a place where you can say not now or no thank you or yes, of course. Most people are happy to help one another. Most of us are happy to help other people. And when I help you or someone I know, then I actually convince myself that I'm helping them because I really want them to succeed, or I know I have something to share with them. And it connects better. It makes the bond stronger. And for the most part, people will help us beyond what we even imagine. So, asking for advice is a great way to do it. And another one kind of shared it earlier, it's more the reciprocity effect. So again, if I helped you, if I gave you some kind of values or communication, you would want to help me. So, there are many ways to enroll people, but I think these are like the most natural and human ways that I love to share.

Kelly: I love the idea of asking people questions, but really when you ask people who are very senior or leaders in organizations, I think a lot of people aren't brave enough to do that because they think they're too important. Why would they take time out for me? But I've found when I've made the effort, there's so many gatekeepers in front of them that they may not actually get so many of these questions from even young people. And so, they want to be able to help, and they want to be asked. You need to be brave enough to be able to ask those questions and to reach out to others.

Lirone: Exactly. And you know, it all starts in our mindset. Like it's understanding, hey, maybe a lot of people are approaching them, but maybe they will answer my request or maybe I will appeal to the gatekeeper so much that she would or he would want to connect me to the manager. But it's also about how do I ask, how do I present myself? Many times, people want to know that first of all, you appreciate them, or someone connected you with them. So, if you find a mutual connection to someone, then you can ask this person, hey, please talk to your friend and tell him why I want to talk to them or I have a question for them. So, use your mutual friends or ask your mutual friends to connect you with this person. But you also have to be very specific when you're reaching out to very busy people because they would want to know what do I want from me and how can I help you? And I think one of the most, maybe the best population that usually have the best chances to succeed is actually students because they're at the beginning of their career and people in senior levels also were once students. And usually, they have really high chances of getting answered.

Kelly: Any final pieces of advice for how to be a super connector?

Lirone: Wow. First of all, understand that if you want to, again, fulfill yourself and achieve your goals, if it's personal, finding a partner or even buying a car or again, finding a job, you want to be out there. And it's about being proactive and knowing that actually connectors are many times our leaders and leaders don't have to be the big, big leaders that each of us is a leader. Because when you're able to connect people to information, to opportunities, you are changing their lives as well as they would be able to change yours. So just put yourself out there. Be proactive and amazing things will happen in your life. I promise I see it all the time.

Kelly: Well, thanks, Lirone, for joining me today. And I wish you luck in Berlin. And if I'm smart, I will actually reach out to you later to see how you did in your presentation in Berlin. Please find her contact information at twomarketingmoms.com. And don't forget to subscribe and share. Thanks for joining.