Episode #8: How Being a Mom Makes You Better in Business
In this episode, we talk about how being a mom has made us better in business. By providing perspective, flexibility, and adaptability, being a mom has increased our confidence, made us more empathetic, and helped us define balance in a whole new way as we prioritize what is really important.
How Being a Mom Makes You Better in Business Episode Recap
In this podcast episode, Julia McDowell and Kelly Callahan-Poe, two marketing moms with a combined six kids, discuss the strengths that being a mom can bring to the business world. They highlight several ways motherhood enhances business skills:
1. Perspective: Becoming a mom changes one’s perspective and makes them more empathetic, understanding, and insightful, which translates to stronger leadership and decision-making in business.
2. Being Present: Motherhood teaches the importance of being present, which also applies to being a good boss and leader by giving undivided attention to team members.
3. Balance: Balancing work and family life becomes a crucial skill for moms, and this ability to manage time efficiently and prioritize tasks is beneficial in business as well.
4. Personal Growth: Motherhood leads to personal growth, and moms often become better bosses, leaders, and team players by continuously learning from their experiences.
5. Patience: Handling kids requires patience, which translates to being more patient and understanding with colleagues and clients at work.
6. Adaptability: Mothers learn to be adaptable due to the constantly changing demands of parenting, and this skill becomes valuable in a dynamic business environment, especially during challenging times like the COVID-19 pandemic.
7. Commitment to Helping Others: Motherhood fosters a commitment to supporting others, making moms more empathetic and understanding toward their colleagues and team members.
8. Prioritization: Moms learn to prioritize their tasks and goals, focusing on what truly matters, which is a valuable skill for personal and professional growth.
Overall, the podcast emphasizes how being a mom can bring valuable qualities and skills to the business world, enhancing leadership and decision-making abilities.
Episode Transcript:
Julia
Hi, everyone, welcome to the Two Marketing moms podcast. We are two moms with six kids between us. We’ve worked our way up the ladder, through advertising and marketing sometimes the hard way. I am Julia McDowell and my co-host is Kelly Callahan-Poe.
And we’re gonna talk about some of the struggles fails winds of balancing when you’re balancing being a boss home life and being a mom, too. So today’s episode is about how being a mom can make you better in business. Because I think a lot of people are thinking well, oh, being a mom makes me feel worse in business. So we are here to pump you up today about being a mom and how you can use those strengths to really kick some ass.
I have so many things on my list here. I’m going to start off with the the number one thing for why being how being a mom makes you better in business is it offers you perspective. Um, I think all of us realize, you know, as we go through phases of our lives, that we have a new perspective, you know, we’re either more empathetic or more understanding, we’re more insightful, we feel smarter, all of those things are perspective. And we, when you become a mom, your perspective changes just generally, right? Because you now have this little person that is dependent on you, and you kind of change you, you become a different woman. And so that perspective also changes in work. I think that for me, some of the little things like I stopped sweating the small stuff. I think that’s a book too.I started to look at people’s strengths and weaknesses in a different way. Because things were, like, new things were important to me, right. So time management was more important to me. Really being sensitive to people’s feelings was more of a priority for me when I became a mom, because now I have this little person who I was concerned about their feelings. And so that perspective, I think, makes you just like a stronger person in general, and definitely becomes a really good tool when you’re in business. Would you agree?
Kelly
For me, it’s being present more with children. And this is funny because my youngest son, who’s 12 has always done this since he was very little. And I think he learned it in Montessori School. He wants my undivided attention. And so, if I’m not looking at him while I’m talking to him, if I’m looking at my phone or looking at the TV, he literally takes my face and moves it.
Julia
Yes, yes.
Kelly
So that I really do pay attention. And that makes me realize, I need to do the same thing at work. If someone walks in my office, I need to put down, and you’ve mentioned this before about bosses. Put down my computer, stop multitasking and be present in the moment in terms of what they’re saying what they have to say, so that you can respond. And listen, not listen to respond, but just listen, to absorb.
Julia
That’s totally a different perspective, I think for sure. When you become a mom. It also helps you become a better boss, right? So we’ve talked about in other episodes of the podcast, like when you become a mom, you’re struggling with how do I continue climbing up that ladder? How do I keep feeding my career and moving forward? And that’s one of the ways you can do it is by growing as a leader and showing your team and showing the people above you that you are growing and becoming, someone that is attentive and present. And, and I think that’s a really good idea. For sure. How about this one? I think this one is like, I feel like this was like the obvious one, but balance.
Kelly
So let’s talk about that perspective.
Julia
I mean, before I had a child, I was, just balancing my husband, and I, and our little house and our dog at the time. And I felt sometimes overwhelmed without amount of responsibility. But then when I had a kid, I had so much more responsibility. And I went through that typical, like, after maternity leave, going back to work and feeling so guilty about being at work, and is watching that clock, trying to get home, so that I could then give of myself as a mom, so I was having that tug of war, like, every day. And over time, I learned how to balance things, and how to give it work, give at home and then eventually give to myself, which was a huge piece of that. And that crept into my work life, because I no longer could blow a whole day, trying to work on a report for a client, I had to be more meticulous about my time management to ensure that I could leave on time, or that I could take that break, to go pop, or whatever it was. And so balance started to like, infiltrate my life in so many ways. You know, I also realized, I probably shouldn’t pack my day with meetings, because then I just become too mentally exhausted. And when I get home, I feel even guilty, or because I’m just exhausted, I can’t be balanced. I don’t know, it didn’t. Can you relate? I bet you have other maybe balance related examples?
Kelly
Well, you know, that’s always a big topic with among moms is, can you ever truly be balanced? And I don’t know that you are going to be, there’s always going to be one thing that’s more important than the other or one thing that’s more, taking more of your time versus another. So I think that’s kind of a pipe dream. To a certain extent, I know, we all try to try to reach for balance, but I don’t think it’s true. So you have to deal with the things are that at hand?
Julia
I mean, I agree, I think balance is balanced balance, you have to define yourself. Because there’s no perfect formula for it.
Kelly
You know, I asked my friends, some of my closest friends before this podcast, what was I like before as a person versus what am I? And so I could use that information. And they all said the same thing, which kind of surprised me because I feel like I’m a different person. But they said, no, you’re basically the same person. You’re straight shooting, you’re honest to a fault. You have the same characteristics that you did before. However, you become more flexible, less self-centered.
Julia
I’m sure people would say that about me too. Yeah, I’m more empathetic.
Kelly
And, they said that they think about me the same way that they always have. However, what they said that they admired most about me was that I stayed true to myself, and I didn’t let motherhood swallow me up. And a couple of them have felt that they let motherhood, swallow them up. And I think maybe because two of them that I spoke with, didn’t have a career while their kids were young. They chose to stay at home. And they said that they admired that. You know, that while I I love being a mom, I also needed fulfillment for my work. And if I was fulfilled, that I would be more happy, and then of course, I would be a better mom to my kids. And so they were surprised that a lot of moms do have those trade-offs and didn’t see that I seem to have them and admire that I was able to juggle both, motherhood, career and kids and didn’t lose myself. I feel comfortable saying that because that doesn’t mean that I’m trying to be a bragger because know everyone’s journey is different.
Julia
I mean, everyone, there are probably women out there that feel like they didn’t really change at all. And then there are other women that are on the absolute other spectrum but think they completely changed. And we’re all trying to find that balance for ourselves.
Kelly
I really didn’t change more than my friends think I changed. That’s why I was surprised.
Julia
Because they were internal changes for you probably like little shifts, like we’re talking about like little perspective shifts? Well, I will allow you to look at something differently.
Kelly
I’m going to give a political example. Because my husband said, when you become president, you don’t change as a person. You’re still the person you always were because of course, we’re talking politics this week. As you know, when you become a mom, do more of your characteristics really come out? I think that’s an interesting question to think about. And I remember that I’m the oldest child, I had two younger brothers in my family. And I was always the caretaker for my little brothers. And I remember, as a young teen having dreams about my little brother Colin, who is now 45, with his two children of his own, worried about him that something was going to happen to him, and I had to save him, right. And those dreams were replaced with worries about my children. So I always had that caretaking part of me, inside of me. So that has always been there. And I and I feel that way with my employees. I think when you’re a mom, you start to realize, okay, what am I? One of my employees has a mom who’s going through cancer — two of my employees actually have moms going through cancer. Another one has health problems. Another one, might be going through something else. So you also have to think about the human aspect of being a manager and a leader. And I think that being a mom helps you remember that human aspect. I’m more empathetic. And my mother has a very strange theory, and I’m not sure I agree with it. But it’s worth discussion. She believes that because women are able to bear children, that they are more able to have empathy. Men, she believes, can have sympathy, but not empathy. And I’m not sure that I agree with her perspective. And so please, don’t tweet hate me. Because I’m not agreeing with that perspective. But I think it’s an interesting way of framing the scenario.
Julia
Women are all the difference.
Kelly
More empathetic than men? Is that because we bore children? I’m not sure. I mean, I could get into a whole discussion about that. But it’s an interesting thought.
Julia
I think it is certainly an interesting thought. And I think maybe most of me agrees with it. Probably. Because we just have a different perspective. To use that word again, we have a different perspective, because we had children, but there are women out there that just, aren’t like me, and probably don’t feel that way. Maybe they were always empathetic. Or maybe they were less empathetic as a mother because they were overwhelmed. Or they have a different philosophy on bringing up children who knows?
Kelly
I have an example. And this one drives me nuts. And I know you’re gonna have the same opinion. I just know it. You’re in the airplane, and the air mask comes down and you’re supposed to say put the air mask on your on yourself first and then your child. What do you do?
Julia
Oh, yeah, of course, you put it on yourself first.
Kelly
No, You put it on your kids first.
Julia
I’m gonna put it on myself first. Well, you know, you recently saw, I think you saw probably my Instagram post about my health journey.
Kelly
Yeah, that was really super impressive. I do want to hear…
Julia
You know, and where I, where I came from was having kids and breastfeeding for nearly a decade. I was giving myself all away. You know, I was sleep deprived and all of those mom things became really overwhelming. And literally took up 50% of the pie. And then the other 50% was work. And that left zero percent for myself. And what I have learned over time, is that you have to put yourself first. So you have to put the oxygen on yourself first. Because if you don’t have oxygen, then you can’t give others around you oxygen. So like one of the things that I’m like, I don’t know, you could talk about, you could put it under the category of perspective or balance. You know, like, a couple of a couple of maybe five years ago, I decided, well, as a company, like we should be working out, we should, we should take lunch breaks and go work out. And that was my, like, attempt to start carving out time for me, and then also others around me, and being supportive of, you know, a healthy lifestyle and a mental emotional break, and a physical outlet. And for about six months, I was able to really do that. And we as the team would go work out. And it was fantastic. And it was such a great break in the day. And I felt everyone around me feeling more positive, because we were doing something out of the office. And it was just so intentional, that the rewards were greater because of that. And so over time, I’ve flowed with being able to afford myself priority and creating boundaries. But when I have I become more successful, just as a person, because if I’m happy and healthy and feeling good about myself, then it permeates not only at work with my coworkers or my clients, but also you know, within my own household. So, so that has been a huge shift for me. Since becoming a mom and I can also say that before coming a mom, did I really carve out a lot of time for myself. I mean, probably I was probably much more selfish person. I did I know I did. But I wasn’t into the self care part of it. I was selfish in my time management. But I wasn’t like thinking about how my mind, body and spirit had to kind of be in a good place for me to be working on all cylinders. So yeah, my answer surprised you.
Kelly
Well, I’m still going to put on my kids mask before my own doesn’t mean I’m not going to do self care. It just means my instincts come in, and I want to take care of them first, you know.
Julia
But if you have no oxygen, Kelly, how are you going to get to the last kid?
Kelly
Hold my breath? You know, I think that also leads to another point, which is how you change from kid one to kid three. Not everyone has three kids. But there is a massive change between kid one kid two. And when you have three, you start to understand why the third kid gets to be the most spoiled and stay out at all hours because you’ve lost all energy. And you have really relaxed as a person because you’re not stressed. I think my youngest child, potty trained himself, I don’t remember potty training him at all. Because he always follows his brothers and I think the more kids that you have also gives you another layer and dimension as a person and as a as a leader because you start to relax even more and start to go… Okay, you know, this is more and more stress. And I can’t keep amping it up. So all I can do is, just let it go. And the kids are fine, and they will be fine. And the 3rd child is always the happiest child always.
Julia
Does that make the middle child? Joyful?
Kelly
I don’t know if he got the least attention, but he’s just a happy child.
Julia
Same with my same with my third baby. Yeah. At the same time, I think. Yeah, the more children you have, the more I’ve become more insane about time management. Yeah, I remember. You know, when I had two kids, and one of my clients had just gotten pregnant with her first. And so of course we had all these wonderful stories to talk about and to relate about Finally, right, because she was becoming a mom and I was already a mom and it was such a great time in our lives. And I remember one day, you we were on the phone, maybe we had a 10 o’clock call or nine o’clock call. It was early in the morning. And I had told her I have already lived an entire day before I got to work you, she was talking about how she woke up and made breakfast for her husband and he left for work. And I don’t know, she at the time had just such a more relaxed morning that I did. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like, I made lunches, I have dinner in the crock pot, I got laundry, a load done, I got the trash to the curb, I got two kids to school, I listened to a podcast, I got my breakfast, you know, like I just had like a whole laundry list of things that I had done all before I started work. And I hit the day running with aa calendar and a list of the things that I had to accomplish. So I think some people might see it as like a negative, like, we just have too much on our plate. So we have to be really structured, but I kind of see it also as the positive. Like, it made me regimented about what I have to get accomplished. And I had to be realistic about my time management, I couldn’t go and promise 10 things, you know, client, ABC and D, I’m going to get all this done for you in one day, I had to be much more realistic and give them timeframes that worked for me and worked for them without putting so much pressure on myself. So I don’t know, I think while you become more relaxed, and you don’t sweat the small stuff, you also become more efficient.
Kelly
Yeah, I totally agree. That’s, that’s absolutely true. And it’s, there’s that saying where they say, if you want something done, give it to the busiest person, you know, right?
Julia
Yes, totally.
Kelly
And I felt I remember feeling that way at the kid’s elementary school, I was working, and I was a mom. And then for some reason I volunteered to manage the website at the school. I was like, wait a minute, I don’t need to do this, this is just this is too much. There’s only so much that you can do. And that’s when you do have to learn to say no and prioritize the things that are that are really important for you. So I agree with that wholeheartedly. because of all that, it increases your confidence. Yes. So I have become way more confident as a mom, especially as each kid was born. And again, as the third kid was born, I kind of felt like an old pro that I could handle anything. It’s not that you have superhuman capabilities. You adapt because you have to do all these things. And I’m lucky I have a very supportive husband who definitely shares the workload with me. Not every mom does.
Julia
Yeah, I have a husband. That’s a Mr. Mr. Mom. Especially during quarantine days, when we had a two year old at home. 24/7 for six months.
Kelly
That’s good. You’re lucky.
Julia
Yeah. While working 40 plus hours a week. That was a lot.
Kelly
I talked about increased confidence.
Julia
My confidence level was probably like a five before coming before becoming a mom. And I thought that was a lot. And I would say now it’s like, I’m at a good 85 out of 100.
Kelly
I probably put myself about there too. Definitely. And it keeps increasing, I think. But I’ve also hit that milestone where I’m now over 50. And I think also as you age, your self-doubt
Julia
Creeping in?
Kelly
No, you become more confident. Yeah, you become way more confident. You care less. I don’t know if it’s you care less but you’re you just prioritize what you care about. That’s how we also talked about being present more. What are the things that are a good perspective –and balance?
Julia
How about this one? Patience.
Kelly
Yeah, that’s, that’s the biggest one. And the big part about that is it’s there’s that saying that if someone can do something 80% as good as you are, you should just let them do it. And yes, hard for type A people to do. But more and more and more. That’s become my priority because I have to let things go.
Julia
My husband and I were talking about this this week, and he said, and I quote, after watching a kid throw a fit, your coworker losing their mind doesn’t seem that big of a deal. But it’s true. I mean, people in work as an especially as, as bosses, or managers, we have to look out for the teams that that work with us. And someone may have an issue, whether it’s personal, something that flows into work from home, or is just purely work related, we have to have patience, and understanding. And thank goodness, I became a mom before becoming really a manager. Because I had more patience.
Kelly
I would also say, related to that into the next point, because of quarantine, which has also given us a completely different perspective. We have become more adaptable. There’s my word.
Julia
Yes, we have.
Kelly
Because so many career forces thrown our way this year, it’s like, Okay, do we stop an ad campaign? Do we start it? What’s the new message? How do we change? How do we adapt? How do we, push pull, and so you know, things are no longer surprises, where in the past, it might have like, oh, gosh, you want a cancel your campaign? I’m like, I thought about that, what if we do XYZ and you become a lot more anticipatory, because you have to be with kids, you have to be anticipatory. Like, I know, my kid’s gonna need a haircut, I know, when he’s gonna need school supplies, I know when he’s gonna need, you yada, yada, yada. So that makes me more anticipatory at work, which also leads to, , the adaptability to what’s happening in the market and the market changes and COVID if it’s taught us anything, it’s that you have to be adaptable, and especially in this business of advertising, and talked about the importance of resilience. But being adaptable to change is so important. Have your clients realized that you can roll with the punches, and that something’s gonna throw your way and you’re gonna be able to stop on a dime and come up with another alternative solution. That’s what they paid you for.
Julia
And that is 100% being a mom. I mean, I’m sure there are people that have learned the hard way that if they are not adaptable as a mom, or if they can’t improvise, then they’re gonna, it’s things are gonna be tough. How about, this one, I feel like, this is like three things kind of rolled into one that I wrote down, or maybe two things, commitment to helping others, and a better understanding of people in general. And I guess you could roll that into what you were saying earlier about, like empathy. Moms having empathy, actually, I would probably put this as number one on my list for my growth. And, we’ve talked about our career paths. And they were a little bit different. Like, when I became a mom, for the first time, I really wasn’t managing anyone, for the most part, directly. And so when I came back from maternity leave, that’s where I was trying to go, right. And so it came up like a wonderful time for me, because I did start to think about those around me differently, and wanting to help them and realizing that if I helped them in their career, it was going to ultimately help me to, like I was going to learn things that were helpful as a manager, I was going to get a whole new perspective about how they viewed, you know, their career or their challenges or their wins. And it just made me such a better just like human overall, because I just had more empathy/
Kelly
Well, I think isn’t that come down to the whole purpose as to why we started this podcast, to give this podcast to younger women, to give advice that we either didn’t have or wanted to our younger selves, so that other people might not make the same mistakes that we did or have more guidance. And, , find people that had been there.
Julia
And yes, because all of our person all of we’re basically talking because hindsight is 2020. Right? For younger selves, and honestly, they’re out there.
Julia
Which brings me to the last one on my list, which is definitely which I wrote, like for young up and coming people in marketing and advertising, I think because becoming a mom really helped me prioritize where I wanted to grow. I knew that I couldn’t do everything, right. Like if I came up with my yearly review I wanted to do, let’s just say it was five things on the list. Maybe I needed to prioritize the top two things, because maybe not everything was going to be doable with all that I had my plate and the fact that I was, you know, still working through how I was going to balance work and home life. So prioritizing where I wanted to grow, and putting all of my energy into that. One thing or maybe two things is just a great overall philosophy for the rest of your career to like, Don’t spread yourself too thin. Instead, go deep on something, become an expert or become good at that craft. Before moving on to the next thing.
Kelly
Yeah. I don’t have anything to add there.
Julia
I think it all awesome. Well, thanks for joining us for another episode of The Two marketing Moms podcast signing off. I’ll see you next week.
